To All The Boys I've Loved Before
by Lumos9
Summary: Hermione Granger writes a letter every time she has one of those all-encompassing crushes. She never intends to send the letters. The purpose of writing them is to physically compartmentalize her feelings so that she can move on with her life. Chaos ensues at Hogwarts when her letters are mysteriously delivered. Based on Netflix movie of the same name. Post war/8th yr/Dramione.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Firstly, I am really sorry about the long hiatus I took! Everything went to hell in a hand basket last year. I have finally pulled my shit together and I'm so glad to be back**

 **To anyone following my other two stories: They will be on hiatus indefinitely. I will only update them once I've written approximately half. I lost all the stuff I previously wrote so it's basically back to the drawing board.**

 **Disclaimer: Anything resembling the HP world belongs to Queen JKR. Anything resembling** _ **To All The Boys I've Loved Before**_ **belongs to Netflix. I only put words together.**

 **Enjoy!**

 **Chapter 1**

 _Dear Harry_

 _To the love_

 _Harry_

Hermione tapped her quill against the off-white parchment she was writing on. She bit her lip gently as she thought about what to say to her best friend. _How do you even tell your best friend you love them? Like love love. Well mum always said I should start at the beginning with anything._

 _Harry_

 _The war brought along a plenitude of emotions. Not knowing if you're about to die does that I suppose. The worst part for me was seeing you in Hagrid's arms, lying there limp and bloodied. I felt my heart shatter. At that moment I knew._

 _I knew that I loved you._

 _It was foolish of me to think that we would have a happy ending. I knew you and Ginny had taken a break before we left on the Horcrux hunt. I assumed after the war, I would make a quick trip to Australia and then return. Return to you Harry._

 _I was a stupid, naïve girl._

 _By the time I returned, as you are well aware, you and Ginny had rekindled your romance. I tried to squash my feelings. Really I did. I tried to be happy for the two of you. But it's so hard watching you with her every single day when you belong with me._

 _It's worse now that we are sharing dormitory. She comes in boasting of your escapades and your eyes as green as a fresh pickled toad. I would never compare your eyes to a toad. Especially not a dead one._

 _Your eyes are the green of spring that revives the Earth after a lengthy winter. Your eyes are the Forbidden forest after it rains. They are the colour of the sea during a storm. Your eyes are a sparkling emerald._

 _They're emeralds Harry. Not toads._

 _Anyway, I diverge. The point of this letter is to tell you that I am utterly and irrevocably in love with you and I have no idea what to do about it._

 _All my love_

 _Hermione Granger_

 _X_

Hermione finished off by sealing the letter and addressing it to _Harry James Potter_. She sighed as she pulled out a little box from her desk drawer. The box was blue and decorated with coloured macaroni, sequins and beads.

Every time she had a crush which was as all-consuming as her current infatuation with Harry, she wrote a letter to the recipient of her attentions. Hermione liked to imagine by writing the letters she was pouring her feelings onto the parchment which made it easier for her to let go of her crush.

Currently, there were five letters in total.

The first one was addressed to a muggle boy she had met at camp. Henry Mills was a year older than her. He had been her first kiss. Granted, it was the result of a game of spin the bottle, but he was so _polite_ about it Hermione had been infatuated.

The second letter was addressed to a Draco Malfoy. Resident Slytherin and reformed Death Eater. Hermione had been quite taken with him in first year. Naturally, her illusions were shattered after he had called her a Mudblood.

Her next two letters were written in fourth year. Ron Weasley and Victor Krum. Hermione had been confused to no end by her mixed emotions. Ron behaving like a class A jerk and Victor moving back to Bulgaria had really put things in perspective for her.

Her newest addition to her little box was her letter to Harry.

She caressed the envelope as she slipped it into the box distractedly and shut the lid. As she reached out to pull open her drawer, she heard their dormitory open. Hermione quickly throw her pink sweater over her blue box, her heart beating wildly.

Ginny Weasley strolled into their shared dorm, her red hair flying behind her.

"Still doing homework Hermione?"

Hermione wheeled around, an insincere smile on her face.

"Just finishing up Gin."

"Well I'm just heading off to bed then. I'm exhausted! Goodnight."

She twirled over to her bed and flopped down on her back fully clothed. As if sensing Hermione watching her, she turned to face her.

"I know I've only date Harry properly since May, but the past 6 months have been a fairy tale Hermione. He's just so perfect." Ginny sighed and turned over onto her side, not hearing Hermione's whispered "I know."

Hermione felt a creeping sensation at the bottom of her stomach which was accompanied by a clenching of her chest. She gasped and clutched at her chest as tears filled her eyes. _What is this? Guilt_ , her conscience answered. _Guilt._ It seeped into her every muscle as she sat at her desk, contemplating a solution to this love triangle without breaking anyone's heart.

She actually quite liked Ginny. Now that they were completing their last year at Hogwarts together, they shared the room with Lavender Brown and Parvati Patil. The aforementioned two had been best friends since year one so almost by default, Hermione and Ginny found themselves grouping together.

Hermione walked over to her bed dazedly and rolled herself into her blankets. Thoughts of sparkling emerald eyes encompassed her thoughts as she fell into a deep sleep. The little blue box lay forgotten on her desk under a pink sweater.

 **A/N: I hope you all like it! Chapter 2 to follow tomorrow (I feel guilty because of the long hiatus I took).**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: This fic was actually inspired by a post on DFF Recommendations. I was too shy to share the link under the post – imagine my surprise when I noticed someone else did. EEP!**

 **Thank you Lonneke - you the real MVP. *finger gun salute***

 **If any of you are reading from that group/because of that post drop me a review. Am I doing it justice?**

 **Anyway, Dramione up ahead! Enjoy**

 **Chapter 2:**

Saturday morning came with a flurry of movement. Since McGonagall had taken over the position of Headmistress, she had granted Hogsmeade visits every second Saturday. In September everyone had visited on both allocated weekends. However, as October rolled around, the novelty wore off and fewer students went each week.

Hermione was awoken by the sound of Ginny and Parvati getting dressed. She rolled over and glared at them.

"Could you be _any_ more noisy? Some of us are trying to sleep." She gestured to herself and Lavender, who had kicked off her blanket and was somehow asleep under her sheet.

Ginny paused whilst applying her makeup. "Sorry Hermione. Parvati's just a bit excited – Dean finally asked her out you know!" Ginny nudged a blushing Parvati and the two erupted into girlish giggles again.

Hermione groaned, realising she clearly wasn't going to get anymore sleep today. She hopped out of bed and walked towards their shared bathroom, waving her wand at Lavender's bed to right her bedclothes.

When Hermione exited the bathroom a short while later, her two room mates had left for Hogsmeade and Lavender was awake. She greeted her sleepy classmate with a perfunctory nod and dressed quickly, expressing her desire to walk down to the Black Lake. As she grabbed her pink sweater from her desk, Lavender leaped out of bed and landed on the floorboards with a THUD, masking the sound of a little blue box falling to the floor.

Hermione left without a backward glance.

Lavender, noticing the spilled letters, ran to the door, "You forgot your…. Letters." But alas, their empty common room echoed with the sound of the portrait door closing. Lavender sighed and scooped up Hermione's letters, grabbed her order form for Glamchops Make-up and made the short walk to the Owlery.

"He loves me… He loves me not…He loves me…"

Hermione sighed as she threw the last petal into the Black Lake.

"He loves me not."

The Giant Squid watched her closely, having seen one too many teenage girls with unrequited crushes sit in that exact same position. He reached one tentacle slowly, as if not to scare her. Hermione observed the tentacle, squeezing her eyes shut as it came closer.

 _Well if this is how I'm meant to go –_

Her eyes flew open, her train of thought interrupted by a … nudge? The giant squid was tapping her on her shoulder, in a comforting way. Hermione giggled – _who knew a squid could be so intuitive?_ The squid withdrew his tentacle and retreated as Hermione recast her warming charm and wrapped her arms around her legs, placing her head on her knees.

"Well well well Granger…Honestly I would have thought you'd be the last person to want my basilisk in your chamber of secrets. I would have even put Potter before you! But then again, I suppose you heard Hagrid's not the only giant in the castle."

Hermione could almost hear the smirk in his voice as he taunted her. Her anger was mixed with confusion at his words. She decided to ignore him. Without turning around she responded, "Go away Malfoy."

Draco Malfoy leaned on the tree behind Hermione, watching her sit there, almost as if she was trying to block the world out. He narrowed his eyes at her and picked imaginary lint of his sweater.

"Honestly you Gryffindor's are such paradoxes. One moment you're saying _my love for you burns like a dying phoenix_ and the next - "

Hermione shot up in recognition of her words. She marched over to Draco and had her wand pointed at his neck before he completed his sentence. Draco's eyes went wide with fear as he gulped audibly and raised his arm showing her the letter he had behind his back.

Hermione grabbed the letter with one hand still holding him hostage with her wand. She started breathing erratically as she opened it, already knowing what it contained.

"Where did you find this? ANSWER ME." She dug her wand a little deeper into his neck until his head was completely against the bark and he had nowhere to move.

"I am beginning to think you did not send that.." he whimpered.

"Of course I didn't send it you dimwit!"

She began to lower her wand and Draco relaxed his posture, still keeping an eye on her wand.

"I received it about 30 minutes ago via a school owl. I don't know who wrote it! Please don't curse me!"

"I'm not going to curse you Malfoy. I wrote this a long time ago. I don't feel the same way anymore. Can you just not tell anyone about this?" Hermione looked up at him beseechingly.

Draco sighed, "I don't suppose anyone will believe me any-"

He was interrupted by a shout. "HERMIONE!"

The unlikely couple turned to see Harry running towards them, clutching a similar letter to the one Hermione now had in her hand.

"Potter received one too? Unbelievable! You wound me Granger."

Hermione didn't hear Draco's bitching as she focused on the letter in Harry's hands. "Oh no…. Harry is not supposed to find out!"

She looked between Harry approaching and Malfoy standing there and complaining and realised she had no way out. Her chest began to constrict as she stared between the two boys, all the whilst listening to Draco's constant nattering.

"Shut up Malfoy. I'm trying to think."

"Don't tell me to shut up! First you send me this note. Then you almost kill me! Now I find out Potter -"

Hermione took one last deep breath and sent a silent prayer to Merlin before grabbing Draco's face and smashing her lips against his.

 **A/N: And the plot thickens….**

 **Not really. But I always wanted to say that.**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I am seriously surprised by the amount of love this fic is getting. Thank you for your kind comment Debbie**

 **And in case you're wondering how I know:**

 **I. Am. Everywhere.**

 **I am going to try to finish it asap – maybe towards the end I'll post twice a day. Maybe.**

 **Anyway, back to our favourite couple. I hope ya'll ready for a rollercoaster of emotions.**

 **Chapter 3:**

Draco hardly had a second to prepare himself from the onslaught of Hermione's lips. His eyes widened in surprise as she locked lips with him. Her lips caressed his softly, almost like a feather. He responded in kind by pressing his tongue against the seam of her lips and bringing his hand up below her ear to gently stroke her cheek.

Hermione overcame her surprise at his actions and granted him access to her mouth. The billowing of their breath echoed in her ears and his strong cologne flooded her nostrils. Unsure of where to put her hands she settled for tangling it in his sweater, pulling him closer. Hermione pressed herself against him, savouring his body heat.

As their tongues mashed together, Draco tasted the school regulated spearmint toothpaste and a hint of cinnamon. Her apple shampoo assaulted his senses and he wrapped his other hand in her bushy brown hair as his body screamed for more. More of her.

She pulled away suddenly and took a step back, her brunette hair flying in the wind as she remembered her reason for instigating the kiss. Harry. But Harry had turned tail and ran in shock and all Hermione could see was a figure with black hair striding towards the castle.

Draco reached up a hand to his mouth and touched his lips in confusion. In the absence of her body, the cold wind hit him forcefully. He couldn't help but liken it to going out in a storm after snuggling under his blankets all day.

His molten silver eyes bore into her questioningly. A pink blush stained his pale face, complimenting his swollen pink lips. As he opened his mouth to speak, Hermione cut him off abruptly.

"I don't like you! I only did it to get rid of Harry!"

Draco opened his mouth to speak again but seemed to rethink it. He settled for an accepting nod instead and strode towards the castle without a backward glance. Hermione sank down to the cold ground groaning. She placed her head in her hands and prayed this morning was a dream.

 _What a pickle I am in!_

After spending an hour in the cold, pondering her situation, Hermione's thoughts were interrupted by the giant squid splashing her. Inwardly she cursed the squid for wetting her clothes, but she realised that she needed to get out of the cold.

She took a slow walk back to the Gryffindor common room after casting a drying charm on her clothes. The castle was very quiet for a Saturday. Most of the students were still at Hogsmeade and the rest had most likely found a quiet, warm nook to relax in.

As she entered the common room, the first thing she heard was singing, Really loud singing. As she got closer to her dorm, she realised the sound was coming from there. The rest of the occupants were doing their level best to ignore the noise.

Although Hermione did hear a few snide remarks like "Can someone shut the baby goat up?" to which she responded with a glare. She paused outside the room and listened as she could not hear the words clearly before.

" _Chalte Chalteeee_

 _Kaise yeh_

 _Faasle ho gaye?_

 _Kya pata"_

The singing – if one could call it that – was broken up with loud sobs and what sounded like swallowing. Hermione opened the door cautiously, afraid of what she would find. She poked her head in the room and grimaced as the voice got louder. Finally she stepped in, trying to find a bit of floor to walk on amidst the clothes and shoes strewn about.

Parvati was sitting cross-legged on her bed, a bottle of Firewhiskey in her hand and a box of tissues by her feet. Lavender was sitting beside her and rubbing her back comfortingly. Ginny observed the proceedings from a distance.

"What in the name of Merlin is going on here?!" Hermione exclaimed, making her way into the room carefully as Parvati continued to sob. She continued, as no one had answered her, "I could hear this from the time I entered the portrait."

Ginny, seeing a way to be useful, shut their door and cast a variant of the Silencing Charm on the room, so that the noise would not travel to the common room. She approached the bed cautiously and sat on the edge, before answering Hermione.

"Dean decided that their first official date didn't go so well and…. maybe he and Parvati … should go back to being friends."

"I THOUGHT HE WAS MY SOULMATE…" Parvati cut Ginny off abruptly. She took another gulp of Firewhiskey and continued, "I have loved him from first year. First year! None… _sob…_ none of you… _sob…_ know… _gulp_ … what if feels like to love someone... _sob_ ….and have them not love you back!"

She broke off into tears again as Lavender continued patting her back awkwardly. Ginny pulled out a tissue and handed it to Parvati cautiously. Growing up with 6 brothers clearly did not prepare her to deal with tears as she was so evidently out of her element.

Parvati's tears subsided somewhat, and she went back to humming her song whilst rocking the Firewhiskey in her arms like a baby. Her concentration was broken by Hermione speaking.

"Love sucks."

Having granted her divine piece of wisdom, Hermione sat down beside Parvati and reached out for the bottle of Firewhiskey. Her roommate handed it to her involuntarily, assuming as Head Girl Hermione would have to confiscate it. All three of them stared at Hermione dumbfounded as she took a big gulp.

"Will you teach me that song?"

Parvati nodded hesitantly in response. So the two classmates shared a bottle of Firewhiskey over an old Hindi song about love lost. And even though the alcohol burned their throats, it did not hold a candle to the burn of lost love.

 **A/N: Song lyrics are from a popular movie I watched with my gran -** _ **Chalte Chalte**_ **. It's one of those movies you need to break out the tissues for!**

 **In case anyone wanted to know the meaning in English:**

 _ **We were walking together**_

 _ **We were walking together**_

 _ **So what caused these differences between us?**_

 _ **We don't even know.**_

 **Until next time 3**


End file.
